10. To hell with the good intentions! Wait…
[First image: Nakoma from Pocahontas, with her hands on her hips, smirking.
Second image: Pocahontas turning around with a broad smile on her face.]
(408): Pretty sure I’m going to hell because of our friendship
(817): Last one there wins
Dear family: If you cannot grasp the fact that I am completely happy you need to grab your balls, suck it up, and deal. The fact that you cannot live with me being happy and you cannot communicate with me is your problem and not mine.
Should I stay where I am an inconvenience, in the way, and not wanted or go where I am miserable and not wanted. Hard to make decisions on where to go when you’re not wanted anywhere.
My favorite thing in life this week is that how people have become so twofaced about things just because I stood up for something I want in MY life and not theirs.
This royally stinks…I have gotten to know some amazing people who I feel comfortable enough around to even live with in the same house/apartment. Whenever I am around them, I feel like they are my family and I am home. Yet, just because I have a low-income job and they don’t have one due to the economy it is not possible for any of us to be independent and enjoy the friendships that have occurred. I can only hope I get a better paying job or something goes right for once, because I <3 these people like nobody’s buisiness and I dont want to see them unhappy.
For once my whole world has gone silent…no noise, no voices, no spirits, and I’m completely okay with it :)
today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”
This should be my last rant about my feelings for a while I promise. I (think) I have figured out exactly what my brain was trying to feel, but I couldn’t figure it out until now. I have not seen love or experienced it the right way in a long time…11 years and one day until 10 months exactly. Since then, all my life has experienced was lack of trust, fighting, arguments, nothing ever being good enough, or drama. This was the case until this past week when I saw how in love two people were for real. At first I just thought it was a phase and it would pass, but then I tried to ignore it when my brain finally settled in and realized it was not going away. Unfortunately, it seemed like I was being a jerk rather than trying to give space and trying to let my brain cope. But now I realize I was just being ridiculous and I realize how amazing, peaceful, and wonderful it truly is, and I miss when I was loved that much by someone, my grandfather. My one and only hope is that one day i might be able to find someone to give me that same love again and I can in return give that love to them. So, I thank you friends for reminding me what love really is, may you ever find happiness in your life, may it prosper, and congratulations on your engagement.